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The whirlwind feeling of being in love is all consuming. You can hardly sleep for thinking about him. You rush out of work to be with him. In fact, you are so focused on him that you begin to have less and less time with friends.
If you aren’t careful, you’ll become so disconnected from your girlfriends that you have no world apart from him. Meanwhile, he has no problem leaving you for poker night. It’s time to restore balance in your life.
If he really cares for you, then he wants you to continue enjoying your time with friends and family. In fact, it may be your insecurity about the relationship and not him at all that makes you feel like you have to spend every waking hour with him.
Or if he’s the clingy type who demands your total attention, that’s smothering and a big red flag for an unhealthy relationship. Either way, you need to be able to add him into your life not dump everyone you care about just to please him.
One way to keep your relationship exciting is to have outside interests. He has poker night and golf. You have a girlfriends’ night out and have dinner with your parents or siblings.
You have to keep balance in your life so that he doesn’t isolate you from the rest of your own world or cause you to become so dependent on him that you stop taking responsibility for yourself.
You also need some time alone. Go out for a manicure or a walk in the park. Get a massage at the local day spa or take art lessons. You can’t give up your personal development for him or in time you’ll be very frustrated.
If he is so insecure that he whines or constantly calls you when you’re alone at the spa or attending an art class, then he doesn’t trust you - and that’s a very poor foundation for a long-term relationship.
Consider the time investment of the people in your world. Your family has always been there for you - they are fully vested in your happiness. Your best friends have been with you for many years and through many tears.
You need to show your appreciation to these people who have always watched out for you. If the time you have to spend with them instantly changes each time a man enters your life, then you aren’t the daughter, sister or friend who is fairly returning the care they have given to you.
You are cheating your family, friends and yourself. A guy who really loves you wouldn’t ask you to do that. A guy who loves himself and his needs more than he loves you will expect you to dump everyone when he calls.
You have to value people who have been there for you. Make time to call and get together. When invited to their special occasions, you need to be there and not make excuses.
If your friend or family member has a crisis or illness, then your guy needs to step aside and give you freedom to help those who have always helped you. Don’t make your friends and family sit on the sidelines only getting your attention when you’re between relationships.
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