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With so many people meeting online or in bars, dating can take a dangerous turn before you realize what’s happening. Being along with a stranger isn’t the best idea for your safety.
If you’re alone at his place, then you’re completely vulnerable and he is in charge. That’s not a smart move. Every year women of all ages do this and some end up dead or missing without a trace. Don’t become a dating nightmare statistic.
Dating safety means making decisions using common sense instead of hormones. For a first date or blind date, arrange to meet in a public place - not a parking lot or a bar in his neighborhood.
Meet at a multi-screen movie complex, the mall, or a busy restaurant on a major street. Invite some friends to join you so that when you meet the new guy, you spend time in the group.
That lets you and your friends size him up before you leave the group. If you have any hesitation about how he acts or talks, then don’t leave the safety of your group. Even after he leaves, he might be angry at the rejection so don’t walk to your car alone. Ask someone in the group to walk with you or ride with them to your car.
If you do decide to go out alone with him, let your best friend know where you are and the name of the guy you’re dating. You can also write that information on a note and tape it to your bathroom mirror.
It’s sad to think that you could be harmed by your date, but if that did happen, the note could help lead authorities to him. You also need to have an agreement with a friend that you will call at least within 6 hours of leaving on the date or your friend needs to start looking for you.
It’s normal to share information about your lives as part of getting to know each other. Talking about your work, your hobbies and your favorite places needs to be a broad discussion until you get to know him.
You don’t need to give out your address or exact information about your office. If he keeps slanting the conversation toward money and how much you make or spend, then you need to walk away.
He has no need to know your financial status. That’s a red flag that he could be a con man who is trying to get to know you better so he can get money from you. The more he presses you for personal information early in the relationship, the more he sounds like he’s ready to take over your life.
He may be insecure and want to be in every part of your world or he may be gathering information so that he knows how to isolate you from your friends later. That’s the way abusive men act - they charm you then they isolate you from friends and family so you feel that you must depend only on them.
An important way to stay safe on a first date is to avoid drinking alcohol or taking any drink that’s open and poured out of your sight. It’s not just among the college crowd that the date rape drug is used.
Stick with bottled water or soda and make sure you open the container. Don’t put your drink down to dance - keep it in your hands or get another drink. Never think you’re safe because he’s with you every minute.
While he has your attention, his friend could be slipping a drug into your drink. It sounds outrageous, but it happens to too many women of all ages in all types of dating situations and being aware is the best defense you have.
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